“If you if you find that you are emotionally overstimulating this person, and that together with overwhelming them sensorially is heightening that self-protection response, you can reduce that in a whole lot of ways.
One of the most easy things to do is instead of being opposite them, which is quite sensorially bombarding and in in in the animal world quite potentially threatening on a physical level if your nervous system is this hair trigger.. heightened reactive state, you go off to the side.
Instead of interacting with them directly, which in their state can be taken as socially invasive no matter how much they want it interpersonally, if you interact through the object and the issue instead of the person the heat comes off and they can relax.
Watch how many autistic people interact with each other. They do so in parallel via an object. If, when they do tend to bombard each other directly one will tend to start tuning out the other and becoming indirectly confrontational. So take that as your language adapt to your behavior.”
Quote taken from Donna Williams – A tour of Exposure Anxiety on YouTube